If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
