you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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