I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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