I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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