I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
