Me. At least after what I've been through.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
