I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
