I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize