that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
