Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sext me about skeletons
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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