I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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