I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
