fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize