Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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