I'd wear matching sweaters with you
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
