We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
