I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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