thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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