so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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