We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I need a burrito and a hug.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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