Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
