i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
