The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
