Porn is love you can see.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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