What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
