i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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