Ambien. No doubt about it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
