You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
