it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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