god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
