i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
