But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The Olympian is in my bed
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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