I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
