yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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