In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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