why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
