youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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