I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
