So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
