I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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