Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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