apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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