oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
