There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
