I wish my penis had an off switch
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Can I color on your dick again?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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