Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
