he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
