quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
