Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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