remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
