Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
