on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
