The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
