I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
is that a dick in a sweater?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
