boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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