Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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