Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
