she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
