she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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