There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
