Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
there is puke in my bra ... again
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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