my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All I want is dick and wine.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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